Ok, so I have seen both Dr Granola (alternate treatments) and Dr. Handsome (along with his sidekick, Dr. Silent but Friendly). On Tuesday I broke down in Dr G’s office after a 2 hour consultation for 2 reasons. Reason 1: The consult and ensuing report was very thorough and detailed giving me an exact breakdown of how messed up my entire system is. Reason 2: The bill / quote he gave me for monthly treatment thereof was fairly exorbitant. I took one look at said quote and promptly burst into tears, thinking I cannot afford this – what the HELL am I going to do? He spoke to me afterwards to reassure me that I need not make any decisions now, rather go and see the oncologist, see what they say, then come back to him with a decision and he can structure a package for me should I wish to go that route. Ok, breathe.
The following day, I had an appointment with the oncologist, Dr Handsome at Tygerberg Hospital. Now for those of you who are familiar with the institution, you can feel my pain. Tygerberg is the top oncology department in South Africa but the actual building and facilities leave much to be desired. In short, it’s a dump! Anyway, so they spoke to me in great detail about my diagnosis and stated that the biopsy tested positive for cancer and that it’s grown quite a bit. We spoke about the proposed operation and came to an agreement that this is not a viable option as will be too risky – the rate of survival of the op is not good nor is the success rate. They have offered me chemo and my lady oncologist will be in touch to speak to me about that. Right now my decision is to go with chemo AND the alternate treatment and try to combine the two. What they made abundantly clear is that chemo will not cure the cancer, merely reduce it and prolong my life. I have to hold on to the hope that the other treatment in conjunction with this will kick the cancer bitch’s ass!
So I haven’t posted in a few days and this is why. I’ve been mulling over all of this information in my head and trying to make some rational decisions. It’s hard. It’s the hardest thing I have ever been faced with but I am being positive, holding my head up high and yes also my breasts (this is for a very silly friend of mine – you know who you are!) and trying to move forward in the best way possible. I feel a bit better in that I have a plan – there is no more (or very little) guesswork. I will and am do everything possible to save my life or at very least extend it as much as possible. I have to. Tomorrow is my daughter’s 11th birthday. I intend being around for many more of her birthdays.