Right, so the cavalry have packed up and headed home for a
brief spell last night. It was awesome to have my mom around as this week has
been unpredictable with regard to pain. Some days really bad and others no pain
at all. I am continuing with the Rife treatments in order to build my immune
system in preparation for chemo. Mom was a blessing helping out with the
household chores and looking after Rhiannon.
In the meantime, I have had another session with the German
therapist which brought up a lot of pent up anger and unspoken, forgotten
emotions relating to past relationships. The release was huge and came in the
form of much pain and depression, lots of crying. The release itself was not
fun, but the feeling after was indescribably lovely.
I’ve also been given the go-ahead for chemo. My first
treatment on is scheduled for 2 April just after the long Easter weekend. I am
apprehensive but not nervous. I still see this as yet another tool on my road
to recovery. If I look at it any other way I will defeat the object.
On the whole, I have been feeling what I can only describe
as grateful. A lot of things are coming together in my life and seem to be making
a lot more sense. I wake up each day with a background feeling of excitement
that this is a new day with a new challenge and one day / step closer to
perfect health.
I have chopped most (not all) of my hair off in preparation
for chemo. I now have a short bob after 11 years of having very long hair. It’s
a huge change but it feels great, like a huge weight has lifted off me. When my
hair eventually falls out, I will invest in wigs and plan to have lots of fun
with those. The reaction to my new hair has been awesome.
Everyone thinks it
looks cool so that’s also added to my general sense of well-being. In short,
things are good right now. I am relaxing on the long Easter weekend with
friends and family. Tuesday looms but no longer with the sense of dread or
horror which I previously felt towards chemo. I will keep you all updated.
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