Ok, so I have seen both Dr Granola (alternate treatments)
and Dr. Handsome (along with his sidekick, Dr. Silent but Friendly). On Tuesday
I broke down in Dr G’s office after a 2 hour consultation for 2 reasons. Reason
1: The consult and ensuing report was very thorough and detailed giving me an
exact breakdown of how messed up my entire system is. Reason 2: The bill /
quote he gave me for monthly treatment thereof was fairly exorbitant. I took
one look at said quote and promptly burst into tears, thinking I cannot afford
this – what the HELL am I going to do? He spoke to me afterwards to reassure me
that I need not make any decisions now, rather go and see the oncologist, see
what they say, then come back to him with a decision and he can structure a
package for me should I wish to go that route. Ok, breathe.
The following day, I had an appointment with the oncologist,
Dr Handsome at Tygerberg Hospital. Now for those of you who are familiar with
the institution, you can feel my pain. Tygerberg is the top oncology department
in South Africa but the actual building and facilities leave much to be
desired. In short, it’s a dump! Anyway, so they spoke to me in great detail
about my diagnosis and stated that the biopsy tested positive for cancer and
that it’s grown quite a bit. We spoke about the proposed operation and came to
an agreement that this is not a viable option as will be too risky – the rate
of survival of the op is not good nor is the success rate. They have offered me
chemo and my lady oncologist will be in touch to speak to me about that. Right
now my decision is to go with chemo AND the alternate treatment and try to
combine the two. What they made
abundantly clear is that chemo will not cure the cancer, merely reduce it and
prolong my life. I have to hold on to the hope that the other treatment in
conjunction with this will kick the cancer bitch’s ass!
So I haven’t posted in a few days and this is why. I’ve been
mulling over all of this information in my head and trying to make some
rational decisions. It’s hard. It’s the hardest thing I have ever been faced
with but I am being positive, holding my head up high and yes also my breasts
(this is for a very silly friend of mine – you know who you are!) and trying to
move forward in the best way possible. I feel a bit better in that I have a
plan – there is no more (or very little) guesswork. I will and am do everything
possible to save my life or at very least extend it as much as possible. I have
to. Tomorrow is my daughter’s 11th birthday. I intend being around
for many more of her birthdays.
Hold your head your breasts and your strength up, dig deep, and you will find it. If other people can do it you will do it, it is not an impossible task. You just got to figure thigs out in your mind. Our will to live is very very strong especially if we have kids to live for and be there for them. Loves kisses and hugs Odi xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Odette. I know I can do this - I HAVE to do to this - for my daughter as well as for my sake. I had a very soul restoring day with my darling cousin Tertia today - forget that laughter is also often the best medicine! :) x
DeleteBee-Zoe, as I said stats are for normal people and um, that would not be you. Fabulous and odd and gorgeous and a little mental perhaps but normal, nope. I am trusting with you and the God who created your body and knows exactly what is wrong and how things should be. Your daughter is too young and its not fair none of my friends don't have horrible 16 year olds so I will remind you in 5 years time that I told you she would be a big pain in the arse. Unfortunately my girls will also be teens then but we can do mutual moaning sessions about them. You have a team of people who love you and are rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Melly - yes we need to be around for a long enough time to become irritating to our kids... oh wait that's already happening but we can get better at it, lol. Thanks for your love and kind words - I love you lots bff :) xx
Delete